Moments with Melody – No Buts!

“Yeah, but…”

“Maybe, but…”

“Chicken butts…”  But guess what? I don’t really want to talk about chicken butts.

I want to share a different thought revolving around the word “but.” It’s a word we all use frequently. Many of us don’t even think about it when we use this word. How many times do you ask your children, your co-workers, your friends, to do something and the word “but” pops up?  Perhaps I notice this word more than others do based on years of writing and it always gives me pause. When you see the word multiple times in print you realize how often you use (or abuse) the word.

My other observation – “but” puts things in a negative context. “But” is the equivalent of “no” without really saying “no.” It’s passive-aggressive. When you hear this word during a conversation, it generally pushes your thoughts to a negative place. It’s a word that keeps you from growing. It prevents you from being open to possibilities. When I began using other words in place of “but” I immediately recognized the change in my conversations. Instead of thoughts spiraling downward or staying stuck on a thought I didn’t think I could budge on, my mind learned to explore different paths and thoughts. I saw options and solutions instead of problems. I could be the Devil’s Advocate without being mean because I was willing to consider different facets of an idea.

The word that works best for me is “however.” It’s a word that allows thoughts to be bridged instead of shut down. This word gives me subconscious permission to travel different roads of thought. It might not be your word. Check the thesaurus, see what feels comfortable to you.

I challenge you to stop using the word “but” even for just a day. See if that change opens up your thoughts to something new. It’s not easy. You have to specifically think about it to practice the change, however, it will begin to come to you naturally, and many positive thoughts will follow!

~Contributed by Melody Lowe